Accepting the ordinary-ness of the self can be embattling for the soul. The key is acceptance. The sooner the better. Pulling the head out of the clouds as the fog of mind dissipates in the heat of failure is bringing me closer to the harsh realities. Life is not a bed of roses, yes but cannot help but wish that it was not one made of thorns or nails either. See what am doing again? Am wishing, dreaming, hoping...all useless emotions. Coping needs to be devoid of these. Coping should need the singularity of acceptance. I need to be better at accepting. The only way out of not leaving behind a massacre and ruins of dreams is to have none. No hope, no dreams. Just accept reality as it is and address it likewise. Do what is best for the situation and accept accept accept. Losses, messes, in excess, absorb all like it's supposed to be normal. The filth is mine. I am the owner of the toxic pile. I accept it. Ciao.